Balancing a yachting career with a relationship sparks lively debate in the industry, with strong opinions on both sides. Some worry that couples create drama and disrupt crew dynamics, while others believe they bring stability and support.
At The Crew Hunter, we navigate these questions with crew and clients daily, so we understand the frustrations on both sides. To delve deeper, we created a survey exploring the experiences of couples on board, their challenges and benefits, the importance of relationships for crew, and how to better manage these situations.
Our most engaged survey yet saw participation from a broad range of yacht crew at different levels and across departments. Opinions were fairly evenly split on whether yachts should be more open to hiring couples, with just over half agreeing, while the remaining respondents disagreed or were undecided. For more than half of crew surveyed, maintaining a romantic relationship was a high priority, compared to just 10% for whom it was not important at all.
The challenges
The survey highlighted both the challenges and advantages of having couples on board. Among the primary concerns were the potential for drama and conflict, awkwardness surrounding shared spaces, couples isolating themselves from the rest of the crew, and the disruption caused by relationship breakdowns.
A few crew members highlighted the unhealthy power dynamics that can arise, particularly in relationships between the Captain and another crew member, such as the Chief Stew, which can lead to perceived favouritism. Another concern raised was that couples sometimes feel entitled to benefits (e.g. shared cabin) just because they are a couple.
Other frustrations included public displays of affection (PDA) in common spaces or during work hours, logistical frustrations for HODs organising rotas and schedules.
The positives
One respondent shared, “Couples who are respectful of the space and maintain their professionalism, there was never an issue. Currently there are couples on my boat who are overly affectionate in crew areas… it’s uncomfortable and unfair to the other crew.” Another added, “It’s usually good if the couple met before joining the yacht (and worked together before). If they become a couple while onboard, it’s always a mess.”
The survey also illuminated positive aspects. 23% of respondents reported having no concerns about couples on board. Some highlighted the “family vibe” that couples can create, the stability they can bring, and the mutual support they offer, which can lead to better longevity.
“My experience was mostly positive, and all couples were part of the crew and loved to have fun and socialise. They did a really good job of keeping their personal lives separate, and some people wouldn’t even have noticed they were a couple if not told,” one respondent noted. Another shared, “No negative impact at all. It was actually better; they wanted couples more because of longevity, and we were happier. Less drama.”
Healthy onboard relationships
Regarding whether couples have a positive or negative impact, the overwhelming consensus was “well, it depends.” But whether crew members arrive as a couple, meet onboard, or are in a relationship with someone off the boat, relationships in yachting are inevitable. So, how can individuals and yachts better manage these situations to provide a positive and healthy atmosphere for everyone onboard?
One crew member stated, “To have a relationship onboard first you have to have a good level of maturity and understanding of yourself and control emotions.” Many emphasised the couple’s maturity, the stability of their relationship, and their ability to maintain a healthy balance between their personal and professional lives.
Several respondents suggested that clear guidelines and expectations regarding PDA, shared spaces, and work-life balance are crucial. Open communication and good management were also identified as key factors.
One HOD offered a pragmatic perspective: “I think the focus should be on healthy behaviour and respecting others, not if you’re single or not; humans have an inbuilt need to find a suitable partner. You cannot exclude relationships from yacht life, but you can help foster healthy relationships, rather than disrespectful dating or casual hook-ups and an unhealthy culture.”
The bigger picture
The survey also touched upon crew well-being. Some argued that yachts should offer better rotation schedules, allowing crew to maintain relationships off board.
“I hope that the industry can see that regardless of being in a relationship or not. We all need time with loved ones and time to find loved ones,” one respondent commented.
“Rotational positions should be standard, and I’m not talking 5:1. I mean 1:1, 2:2, 3:2 paid all year. When they do, longevity is standard, the vessel/company runs smoother, and the end-user has the experience they expect from all.”
Finding the right talent
Relationships are complicated. Relationships in yachting? Even more so, but while challenges exist, many couples thrive on board. The key is balancing personal and professional lives, fostering open communication, and establishing clear expectations.
As ever when it comes to hiring crew, it is all about finding the right individuals and the best talent to suit that particular yacht. That’s why, at The Crew Hunter, we focus on building long-term relationships with our crew, getting to know their skills, attitude, and sometimes their partners over a number of years.
As former yacht crew, we understand what it takes to build a successful team on yachts and the complex nature of crew dynamics. We work with crew and vessels to cut through the noise to build lasting teams.
If you are looking to fill a position on board, get in touch today at info@yachtcrew.uk.
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